May 23, 2007

News Diggest

In “The Sun”
“…TonFancisco, the great Portuguese-American actor gets Brad Pitt’s part in the blockbuster movie “Antonio Two”, a sequel of the famous “Ocean’s twelve”. Rumors also tell us that he started an affair with Angelina Jolie and they are moving into Antonio’s Mansion in Princeton …”

In “Premiere” movies magazine
“…after some well deserved holiday with his lover Angelina Jolie, TonFancisco gets Hugh Laurie’s role has Dr. House. Producers say: “well, TonFancisco lives in Princeton, and he knows hospitals from the inside. People are not happy with Laurie’s latest performances, we had to make a choice and invest in high quality actors.””

In “Publico”
“ O actor de sucesso luso-americano, TonFancisco vem passar ferias a Portugal. Especialistas apontam-no como o novo Joaquim de Almeida. Segundo fontes seguras a sua viajem a Portugal não é desprovida de intenções comercias. Para alem de ter acedido aos pedidos dos vários patrocinadores (Chico, Mimosa, Petit Patapon, Avó Gracinha, etc.), vem também acertar pormenores para o novo block buster de Steven Speilberg, que ilustra a grande saga da reconquista de Portugal aos Mouros, no qual TonFancisco encarna o papel de D. Afonso Henriques.”

In “Time Magazine”
“After a long conversation at Tonfancisco’s Mansion in Princeton, followed by a milk buffet served by Tonfancisco’s mother, Mafalda, Quentin Tarantino manages to convince TonFan to play the main role in Tarantino’s latest project, “Milk Fiction”. TonFan also signed for a three part sequel action movie, “Kill Milk”.”

In “Hola”
“El enlace del actor Antonio Franciso con Angelina Jolie sufre un grande escándalo. A su vez el flagrante de Antonio hay sido en plena Iglesia, cuando Penélope Cruz sale gritando: “Antonio no te cases con esa, yo soy tu amor! Por favor no cometas ese error! Y que vas hacer de nuestro hijo?”, después de la madre de Antonio sufrir un desfallecimiento e de una de las ex novias de Antonio, Catarina Furtado, la acoger, el padre y el tío de Antonio escoltaran Penélope y otra chica de ultimo nombre Anderson, afuera de la iglesia. En comentario para la prensa Angelina hay dicho: “Antonio no conoce esa, ni siquiera tiene un hijo Della, lo que pasa e que se aprovechan de la fama que hay obtenido con mucho esforzó y dedicación a su arte”. Resta la duda si el hijo es de Antonio o no.”

In “Hello”
“…Whoozit goes mad! After a series of scandals related to drug abuse, the actor Whoozit Wolemina was arrested in Princeton last Monday, for driving a Volvo under alcohol and drug influence. Whoozit participated in many TonFancisco movies as a secondary role actor. TonFancisco’s father said to “Hello” in an interview: “we are so sorry that things turned up this way, Whoozit was a friend of the family, my son enjoyed working with him and he was a very close friend, but we can no longer cover up for his suicidal and careless behavior. One thing I tell you, my son is very sad with this event and has no further comments.” We can add, that after a few days after Whoozit’s Wolemina arrest TonFancisco’s uncle, JoJo, was seen talking with Weiner le Saucisson, a Belgium sausage dog, related by blood to Count Siminho de Belas. Word is he is the new TonFancisco partner in action movies.”

Report by UNCLE JOJO

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